i know i know.. the blog's almost dead again.. but it seems like there's nothing much to post about now.. life's mostly a routine, except for meeting up with a couple of good ol' friends sometimes to chill and just hang out..

anyway, chinese new year certainly doesn't evoke the feelings in me anymore.. is it because i'm getting older? or am i mentally ageing? but! alas! i'm very looking forward to 4th feb! is anyone is free in the afternoon? please come and help me to chop the veggies and the meat and the whatevers.. haha. there're still quite a lot of people who haven't replied if they're coming.. :(

recently i've been wondering.. is it really bad if 2 people have nothing much to talk about on the phone? after the usual questions of how's ur day/how's work/how's class/have u eaten there's this pause afterwards which i can't explain. is the relationship in decline? if my guy is not my soulmate, then is he the one for me? or am i getting bored of this relationship? and i'm not really happy about the way things are going to turn out for the next few weeks or so. i'll just leave it at that.

i think i need someone who can give me surprises; routine after a long while gets really BORING.. and i get bored quite easily. i need someone that i can talk whatever shit to.. the good and bad shits.. or maybe i just don't have much shit happening in my life.. he's always at work, always tired.. i understand that, but that just means he doesn't have much life left for me.. it's not like it's going to be temporary. it's his job and it's gonna be the same thing for like dunno how many years? and i'm going to continue meeting him once a week for the next dunno how many years? all of a sudden i just feel very negative.. or i'm being too demanding..

sigh. better to not think about it. i'll just concentrate on getting ang baos. need money to buy food! :(